Today's glitter nail polish is lacking the necessary glitter to polish ratio. (see above for proof) Plus, it lasts about 3 seconds before glitter starts to flake off everywhere, leaving your nails bereft of sparkle and everything else in a 10 foot radius littered with tiny bits of shininess. That's why you'll find me hunched over my kitchen table, brow furrowed and thinking cap firmly pulled down over my forehead, inventing my own glitter nail polish that is not only super sparkly, but has fierce staying power. Extra Strength - Extra Sparkle - Extra Sassy!
Tonight, I was going to write something insightful, something meaningful, something that would make you all go, "Wow, dude. Deep." Something that would make you wish that you still smoked weed just so you could more fully comprehend my subtle, mysterious and life-changing message.
Then, I saw this and could not stop laughing. Who needs the answer to life's most persistent and thorny questions when we have Emily, who can make me forget trouble and woe with her amazing interpretive dance...
Emily, if you're reading this, I find your dance completely captivating. I cannot get you off my mind. I long to bask in your awesomeness. (Call me!)