Things Not to Mention at Xmas

...besides politics and religion. Courtesy of my mother, who mentioned every single one this Xmas:

-Rape, yours or anyone else's.
-Toilet training, yours or anyone else's.
-Terminal diseases, your (imagined) ones or anyone else's.

How to be the best boyfriend's family ever:

-Comment, "Oh, really?" in a detached yet concerned voice to all of the above.

Not only do I love him, I love his family, too.

But as I mentioned to his brother, I think we'll just go to Vegas next year (and neglect to tell my mother.)

At least we're not Jewish, else she would've been at my house for 8 nights instead of just one day. (Praise Jesus!)

Happy Holidays!